As I was meditating the other day looking back on my life and I have realised that perfection was my worst enemy. I was raised in an environment of very high expectation, and every day in school felt like I was competing with others and fighting to be the best in class. It was a constant driver. I had to be the best.
Very early on in primary I thought I was useless just because I couldn't do simple maths. Massive blow to my image of myself. I was great with English literature and foreign languages but that wasn't enough. I had was bullied very badly just to cap it off.
Now as a woman, I didn't see myself as good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough. I fought against those feelings to meet other people's expectations. I drove myself so hard and paid the price with burnout a few years ago. My life fell apart in so many ways.
My life life is completely different today and I embrace the new me with much gratitude, joy and acceptance It's not happened overnight but over time I have come to love myself as I am. I am happily married finally, and doing what I was born to do in the world in and all areas of my life. I am enough just as I am. I have learned to shift my thoughts and thinking. My thoughts aren't who I am. They are just thoughts. It is so important to celebrate progress and feel a true sense of perspective on life as a whole form the triumphs to the failures, from obstacles to to mistakes to perfect coincidences.
We are all living and growing, moving forward every day. It's a beautiful thing to be mindful of the present but don't forget to honour yourself and your past and how far you have come. Chances re it is further than you think! What's more I have done just fine on limited maths skills.
Oh gush me .